Friday, November 6, 2009

Fartescapades Part I

This is an ode to the Global Warming and the cow farts. No offense to all the farts which we would talk bout here. Hope you all take it in good farting humorous way.

Being a sales and marketing chap, over the past so many years (man that makes me sound like an old fart...but nevertheless.....), I have met, seen, interacted with a lot of people - brainy, brawny, fairer sex, humans and some who live in this surreal world of nothingness with a thinking that they are god's gift to mindkind and womenkind alik and also some who think they are GOD.

The common denominator among all of them is that they all fart. They ALL fart. The all FART.

Now before we get into the stink and the noise let us first define what is a fart:
According to a fart is both a noun and a verb..
fart  /fɑrt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [fahrt]

1. a flatus expelled through the anus.
2. an irritating or foolish person.
–verb (used without object)
3. to expel a flatus through the anus; break wind.
—Verb phrase4. fart around, to spend time foolishly or aimlessly.

1350–1400; ME ferten, farten (v.), fert, fart (n.); c. Gk pérdein (v.), pord (n.)

Slang Dictionary
to release intestinal gas through the anus. (Often objectionable. One of the classic four-letter words. It should be noted that English does not have a single, “polite” word, noun or verb, for this matter. Break wind is common, but there is no parallel noun. See the complete list of all entries with fart in the Index of Hidden Key Words.) : Okay, who farted?
the sound or odor of the release of intestinal gas. (Often objectionable.) : Who made that smelly fart?
a stupid, despicable, and annoying person. (Usually objectionable.) : The guy's nothing but a fart. Just forget him.

Now that this is done, let us get on with this fart of the blog. (get it? how fart is used in this sentence)

The original article about the cows farting leading to global warming talks only about the cows. What it does not talk about are the farts we come across our lives almost on an every second basis. You know farts like the most comon ones in delhi

"Tu Janta Nahi Main Kaun Hoon" (roughly translated - you dont know who I am) farts if anyone wants to know. These are guys with serious identity crisis. Maybe they are the Vijays or Amits from the bollywood reel world, arrived into the real life searching for their dads. Wish them the best. Hope they figure out who their Dad is.

"Oh! these are Dolce's which I picked up when in Rome" farts
These are matter of facts farts. or the show off farts. You can see them in places like Janpath in Delhi, Sarojini Nagar in Delhi, Commercial Street or National Market in Bangalore, Fashion Street in Mumbai etc. Who will certainly like to drop the fact that even in recession times they went to rome or any other exotic place for a vacation...

"Yaar! I know what you are talking about...something like tht happened to me also" farts
These are people, to whom whatever has happened to you, would have happened to them in some point of their farting life.

"Dont tell me what you have, I know what you have" farts
The know all farts. :-) How many do we meet everyday?

Now imagine, most of these farts fart when they much of farting power happens, how much of hot air is released, how much of noise pollution, ...all leading to global warming.

This list is continous and never ending.  some more...employee fart, employer fart, Breaking news farts, news anchors farts, ATL farts, BTL farts......

An old fart like me can fart on this topic for hours...but no time...need to call a few people to listen to their farts hehe

tell me if you have more farts...gotta run

1 comment:

  1. "D Fart" was really and ironically smelt nice...haha,very Interesting and yet Simple.