Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The Rage Continues!! part 2

The driving tips by my good friend Rajiv Dubey to a very large extent were very meaningful. The one thing it did for me was to look at other people doing their "Delhi Driving" and make me smile and laugh most of the times.

Now sometimes when I want God to show me a way..I tend to go stand next to the driver who honks the loudest..I see "Gujjar Boys" written on rear windshield of a car..I think of getting myself a Rayban and get into a courageous mode of "Never Hide".

We sure need to really ponder about when we are following these rules..unknowingly or knowingly. After all we are the TRAFFIC !

Continuing his driving tips from my earlier post.

Delhi Driving Rule # 14:
Evolution of Delhi Drivers:
All drivers in the city have graduated from small vehicles to big vehicles, for example:
Cycle->Moror Cycle->Car
Moror Cycle->Car->SuV
Rickshaw->Auto Rickshaw->Bus
No Wonder all why Car Drivers drive their cars like Motor Bikes. Bus Drivers drive like Auto Rickshaws. Auto Rickshaws drive like Rickshaws.

Delhi Driving Rule # 15: 
Which lane to drive in?
Right most lane is where you should drive, irrespective of your speed and capacity of vehicle. The other two lanes are just for decoration purposes and for illegal parking/encroachment. Driving in right most lane protects your car from being overtaken from the right side ;) — at Delhi!!!

Delhi Driving Rule # 16: 
Final Rule !
Everyone in Delhi has some connection in Police Department, Home Ministry, Parliament, Prime Minister's Office, President's office etc. Go Crib!
Delhi Driving Rule # 17: What do people say to a Cop, if caught:

a. Tu Janata Nahin Main Kaun Hoon? (Dont you know who I am?)
b. Lo Baat Karo!! (Dials a phone number and get the Cop to speak to someone).
c. Sorry Sir, I am in a hurry...my wife is in Hospital..about to deliver.
d. Sorry Sir, Loose Motion! Running Stomach etc.
e. Sorry Sir, Galti Se Mistake! I thought that RED light was a sign to "Jump" the light.
f. Sorry I did not know (about license which expired 2 years ago).
g. Sorry Sir, Will never do this again! (After the Challan Ticket has been issued).
h. Negotiate the final deal!

Delhi Driving Rule # 18: 
We don't park our cars, we just stop them where ever we want. Try Parking in CP or Nehru Place- you cant get out by opening any of the doors. Now, the Car companies are working on an option that you could remove the engine and get out by opening the front Hood!! — in New Delhi.

Delhi Driving Rule # 19: 
Driving in Space!!
We drive in 'Space"!! Hell No! that does not make us astronauts!!
We drive where ever we find SPACE on the road and off the road, shoulder of the road, side walk, foot path, opposite side of the road, on Escalators (check this out on foot over bride @ ITO), Subways etc. etc. We are Space-Riders!! Yay that makes us awesome!

Delhi Driving Rule # 20: 
Horn Ok Please!
The Horn has to be used for following purposes:
1. To Scare away the pedestrians
2. To alert the car ahead of you, for your arrival
3. To Turn Left
4. To Turn Right
5. To go Straight
6. To take a "U" turn
7. In case your brakes are not working
8. In case your head lights are off and you cant see anything (at least people will hear your arrival)
9. To Over take someone
10. To let someone overtake you (very rare)
11. Generally...to make sure that its working alright and battery has not failed....

(keep adding to the list)

Delhi Driving Rule # 21: 
Road Signs: Lights
Green: Go
Yellow: Go faster
Red: Jump
Blinking: confused light

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